Bitcoin Jumps: Dead Cat Bounce? - Crypto Twitter Reacts

Bitcoin's "Recovery" to $90K? More Like a Dead Cat Bounce Oh, Bitcoin's back above $90,000, is it? Cue the confetti and champagne, right? Wrong. Let's be real: this "rally" is about as convincing as a politician's promise. A month-long selloff, and now we're supposed to believe a "broad rally in risk assets" is the real deal? Give me a break. BlackRock's ETF saw "fresh inflows," huh? Snapping a streak of redemptions is hardly a victory parade. It's like saying a patient is cured because they stopped bleeding for five minutes. This market is so thin ahead of Thanksgiving it's practically anorexic.

"Shaky Grounds?" More Like a Trapdoor

Shaky Ground, Shaky Hands And get this: "onchain data indicated that the move was on shaky grounds." Shaky grounds? That's putting it mildly. More like a house of cards in a hurricane. This $84,000 "cost-basis cluster" holding 400,000 BTC is supposed to be a floor? More like a trapdoor waiting to spring. "Spot demand above it remains shallow." Translation: nobody actually *wants* this crap at this price. The order books are thin, and prices are moving through areas with "minimal buyer engagement." So, what, we're relying on ghosts and tumbleweeds to keep the price afloat? Liquidity is weak, resembling the early 2022 post-ATH fade. Ah, yes, the good ol' days of watching your portfolio implode. Good times...not. "Investors were exiting rather than buying into the strength." Well, duh. Who in their right mind would double down on this volatile mess?

$90K Bitcoin: A Short Squeeze in Clown World?

Futures, Failures, and False Hope The breakout to $91,000 was "fueled mainly by shorts covering, not fresh long exposure." So, it's a short squeeze. Got it. The most pathetic kind of rally there is. Open interest is declining, cumulative volume delta is flat, and funding rates are neutral. Translation: nobody with any sense of self-preservation is actually buying this crap, they're just covering their bad bets. And some analyst named Lennaert Snyder thinks $89,000 is the key resistance level? He's got a "support box" at $86,000? What is this, crypto kindergarten? A return to that support would be a "weak sign." No , Sherlock. Ted Pillows is taking partial profits? Smart man. "Caution is the smarter play." Finally, some sanity. He'll scale back in "after Bitcoin successfully flips the resistance level into support." Good luck with that. As Bitcoin trades above $90K, bulls still have key levels to break to extend the rally. Offcourse, I could be wrong. Maybe this is the start of a glorious new bull run. Maybe pigs will fly. Maybe Congress will pass a law that actually benefits ordinary people. I'm not holding my breath. So, What's the Real Story? It's a mirage, plain and simple. A temporary blip in a long, slow decline. Enjoy the pump while it lasts, because the dump is coming. And when it does, don't say I didn't warn you.